Saturday, October 31, 2009

Starbucks Rapes Halloween

America's favorite coffee conglomerate has just surpassed Big Tobacco as the most evil commercial enterprise in history.

I'm sitting in their lounge right now listening to Sting croon about Christmas -- a 'Bucks exclusive compilation, no doubt -- on fucking Halloween.

You are two months and two major holidays ahead of schedule, you corporate sluts.

Maybe after they're done pissing in every child's trick or treat bag they can start adding a drop of morphine to their frappuccinos.